Advertiment: ti-ci textu is old. It contene errores! Yo hat creat un nov version del textu. Ples vider li nov version, quel es in un plu recent post.
Ti-ci traduction es un continuation de parte 1
In 1796, li milanés armé consistet de duantquar rascales vestit in rubie, queles gardat li cité junt con quar magnific regimentes de hungarian grenaderos. Libertá de mores esset extrem, ma passion esset mult rar; altrimen, ultra li ínplesentesse de dever racontar omnicós a su pastor, por evitar ruine mem in ti-ci munde, li bon popul de Milano esset ancor subjectet a cert litt monarchic impedimentes queles sin dúbite deve har esset vexant. Por exemple, li archi-duc, qui residet in Milano e guvernat in li nómine del imperator, su cusino, hat havet li lucrativ idé de mercar granes. In consequentie: un ordon quel prohibit li paisanos de vendir lor grane til que Su Altesse hat plenat su granieres.
Ye May 1796, tri dies pos li intrada del franceses, un yun pictor in miniatura, un poc dement, nominat Gros, plu tard un celebritá, e qui hat venit con li armé, audiente per hasard in li grand Café del Servi (tande secun li moda) un raconta del 'grand actiones' del archi-duc, qui esset ya enorm, prendet li liste de gelates, quel esset printat quam un placate sur un folie de crud, yelb papere. Su li reverse del folie il dessinat li grassi archi-duc; un soldate esset trapicant le per un bayonette in li ventre, e, in vice de sangue, un íncredibil quantitá de grane exfluet. To quo on nominat un joca o un caricatura ne esset conosset in ti-ci país de astut despotisme. Li dessin, forlassat per Gros sur li table, aparet quam un miracul cadet del cieles; it esset gravet durante li nocte e duant mill copies esset vendit ye li sequent die.
Li traduction va esser continuat in parte 3...
Français: La Chartreuse de Parme, un roman de Stendhal
English: The Charterhouse of Parma, a novel by Stendhal
REFERENTIE
Númeres e dates
20 = duant
1796 = mill settcent ninantsix
ye 15 May 1796 = ye deciquin May mill settcent ninantsix
20000 = duant mill
20000 = duant mill
Glossarium in anglés
* ínplesentesse:: unpleasantness (fr. désagrément)
* grane:: grain in general || corn || wheat || stone <n.> (of fruit)
* grane:: grain in general || corn || wheat || stone <n.> (of fruit)
* mercar granes:: to trade grain = to trade in grain (fr. faire le commerce des blés)
fr. = francés
Sellamat Robert !
ReplyDeleteThis translation looks good, my commentaries will be punctual.
"hungarian" : If we can assume that the country name is "Hungaria", nothing is sure for the ethnonym since Romance languages have something like "hungarese" and German has "ungar[isch]"; Sambahsa uses the local form "magyar"
"omnicos": nothing wrong according to common usage; I prefer "omnicose" (or "omnicòs") to respect the stress.
"nom" = "nòmin(e)"
"mercar ye grane" = "mercar granes" (faire le commerce des blés". In French, as in English, you can use the singular instead of the plural, but I think that the plural is more logical, and easier to be understood abroad. "Mercar ye gran" sounds like "to trade grainly"
"quel prohibit li paisanes" : In Sambahsa, the order would be "prohibir al paisanes vendir" (to prohibit something to someone", but there is no explanation...
"til su": "till que su" since it introduces a subordinate; however, I had no difficulty in understanding it.
after "in celebrità", you should add: "qui hat venit con li armé" = "qui était venu avec l'armée"
"Café de Servi"; in French "Café des Servi"; thus "Café del Servi"; I am not sure whether "Café de lis Servi" would be accepted in Occ.
"pasquin" : Where did you find it ? The French text has "plaisanterie" = "joke"; Occ: "joca".
Continue like that, you'll be fluent in Occ. before the end of the year !
Olivier
http://sambahsa.pbworks.com/
@cafaristeir: Sellamat Olivier !
ReplyDeleteThanks again for the ongoing help. I've made the suggested changes as follows. But first I must reveal the identity of the life-saving dictionary which I am using, for which I am eternally grateful. It is the dictionary which was kindly supplied to me by Mithridates and which was compiled by Steve Rice. In the near future, with permission, I hope to make it available for download to assist readers... and subsequently I will continue to expand it with new entries, examples and clarifications myself.
Here are three entries from it. English (or Latin) words are shown in capital letters.
Hungaria:: HUNGARIA
hungarian:: HUNGARIAN
pasquin:: LAMPOON
As I wrote previously (about "Lombardia" and "Lombardian"), I prefer it if the name of the people of a country is logically predictable from the name of the country in an entirely regular manner wherever possible. Thus I prefer "Hungarian" over "Hungarese" although both might be considered correct; this is one of the things I like about de Wahl's philosophy. He would have said it was no big deal either way, so long as one is understood; anyway this is a conscious decision on my part to be less naturalistic (less like Interlingua) and more schematic (more like Occidental) while still remaining within the bounds of plausibility of what might be a natural language (that is, certainly much less schematic than Novial).
omnicos --> omnicós: DONE. Good point! I had forgotten, of course, that people might possibly interpret the final S as a plural marker and therefore not read the word with the correct stress. To mark the stress in this word is indeed a good idea.
nom --> nómine: DONE. Oops! I've been reading too much French lately and I had incorrectly thought that "nom" was actually a word in Occidental. Thanks!
mercar ye grane --> mercar granes. DONE. I really struggled with this one. I considered either "de" or "in" instead of "ye" but rejected both as being too idiomatic (the former Romance-like and the latter English-like). I was going to write "mercar grane" without the preposition but thought perhaps Romance speakers would not understand. So I am enormously relieved to hear "mercar granes" is an acceptable compromise. I actually have decided to adopt a rule that wherever possible I will use no preposition at all, if doing so is not unintelligible. Prepositions, like the definite article, are some of the most idiomatic and unpredictable things in language when it comes to international auxiliary communication.
"quel prohibit li paisanes": UNCHANGED. I guess this can be left as is, it is a simple expression and again avoids the use of a preposition.
til Su --> til que Su: DONE. Thanks! Very good point which I formerly had not understood. Acceptable in either form, but the latter form is more explicit and therefore clearer and, pedantically, more correct.
I also added the missing clause which I had overlooked and fixed the name of the café as advised. By the way, in Italian it is "Caffè dei Servi", if that helps.
I translated "plaisanterie" into English as "lampoon", based upon an English translation of the novel in my possession. I assumed perhaps in this context the French word could have this meaning, thus in Occidental "pasquin". I guess it would be more correct for me to translate it as "joke", thus in Occidental "joca". Incidentally, even English supposedly has the word "pasquinade" as a synonym of "lampoon"! Anyway, I've changed it to "joca" as advised.
Thanks again. By the way, the joy is returning: translating French into Occidental really is fun, this really is a joy and the perfect pastime for a writer.
I am having fun again at last...
Sellamat Robert !
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you're having fun with Occ. !
About "lampoon", the French text really has "plaisanterie"; I suppose that the meaning was nearly the same as today = "joke", while "lampoon" would be "pamphlet".
As they would say in Italian:"traduttore, traditore !" :-)
Olivier