Ti-ci traduction es un continuation de parte 3
Li oficeros hat esset inlogiat, quandecunc possibil, che li domes del rich persones; li oficeros ya besonat recoleer se. Por exemple, un leutenante, nóminat Robert, havet un billete de logiament por li palace del marquesa del Dongo. Ti-ci oficero, un yun e alquant ínsuciant conscrite, havet presc null possessiones in li munde, quande il intrat ad-in li palace, except un scudo (valore de six francs) quel il hat recivet a Piacenza. Pos li passage del ponte de Lodi, il prendet de un bell austrian oficero, mortat per un balle de musquete, un magnific pantalon fabricat de blanc-nov nankin, e nequande esset li procurament de un vestiment plu oportun. Su epolettes de oficiero esset de lane e li drap de su jaquette esset suet al fódere del manches por que su pezzes ne desunit; ma li situation esset mem plu trist: li soleas de su sapates esset fabricat ex pezzes de chapeles, similmen trovat sur li camp de battallie, ultra li ponte de Lodi. Ti exprompte soleas esset fixat a su sapetes per cordes, queles esset clarmen visibil, ergo quande li majordomo aparit a li chambre de leutenante Robert por invitar le a mangiar con li Seniora marquesa, li leutenante subitmen sentit extremen embarrassat. Il e su oficero de ordonantie passat li subsequent du hores, til ti fatal diné, occupat per reparar li jaquette e tintent nigri, per incre, li embarrassant cordes circum su sapetes. Finalmen li terribil moment arivat.
"In mi tot vive yo hat nequande sentit plu íncomfortosi," leutenante Robert dit a me. "Ti senioras pensat que yo vell terrer les, e yo self esset trement plu quam les. Yo regardet mi sapates e ne savet qualmen marchar gracilmen. Li bellitá del marquesa del Dongo," il adjuntet, "esset plu grand quam jamá. Vu self connosse su bell ocules, de un angelic dulcitá, e su jolli capillatura, de un tenebrosi blond, quel dessina tant bon li oval contura de su charmant visage. Yo have in mi chambre un Herodias de Leonardo da Vinci, quel simila su portrete. Deo volet que yo esset tant captet per su supernatural bellitá que yo obliviat pri mi vestimentes. Durante li precedent du annus yo hat videt nequó except desbell e miserable coses in li montes del land de Genova; yo audaciat adparlar la e dit quelc paroles pri mi ravissement.
"Ma yo havet tro mult sense pro tardar me mult long donante complimentes. Durante que yo parlat, yo videt, in un manjatoria totmen de marmor, decidu lacayos e personal servitores qui tande semblat a me esser vestit in li maxim magnific vestimentes. Imagina que ti rascales havet ne solmen bon sapates ma adplu fibles de argente! Yo videt, ex li angul de mi ocul, lor stupid, fixat regardes ad mi costume, e fórsan anc ad mi sapates, regardes queles ya penetrat mi cordie. Yo vell posset timentat ti-ci homes per solmen un parol, ma qualmen reprimandar les sin riscant terrer li senioras? In facte, li marquesa, pro dar se un poc corage, quam ella hat dit a me cent vezes desde ti témpor, hat fat venir del conventu (u ella tande esset un pensionaria) Gina del Dongo, li sestra de su marito, qui depoy esset ti charmant comtesse de Pietranera: nequí, in prosperitá, havet plu gayitá o esset plu amical, sammen quam nequí, in misfortun, havet plu courage o esset plu seren.
* nankin = nankeen (fr. nankin)
fr. = francés
Sellamat Robert !
ReplyDeleteLet's go !
"hat presc null" = "havet presc null"
"Robert pro invita le":
1°)Be careful; as Esperanto, Occ. has "por" as "for", but "pro" means "because of".
2°) of course "invitar"
"occupat per reparant... tintent" : I suggest the use of the infinitive after a preposition.
"donant complimentes"; I have found recently, by reading the old Cosmoglottas put on line by Sebastian, that Occidental gerundive is "nte", not "ntmen". Thus, I propose "donante compliments".
Congratulations ! Did you choose your pseudonym in reference to Lieutenant Robert ?
Olivier
@cafaristeir: Sellamat Olivier !
ReplyDeleteI have made all the changes as suggested. Thanks so much. Again you have taught me something important about language today; I did not previously understand what a gerund is but now that you have pointed out that it should be "donante complimentes", with the "-nte" suffix rather than just "-nt", it all became clear to me. Indeed I see now that the grammar translated by Mithridates does also state this. Great! Now I understand.
By the way, with today's post I have passed another major milestone: 1500 words of a single literary work translated into Occidental!
Not only is this very significant for my work with constructed languages but it is very significant for my work in all languages other than English, including natural languages; never, never, never in any language other than English have I managed to translate 1500 words of a work of literature before! This proves that constructed languages work, this is the first major proof since I've started this whole journey. At last, a constructed language really is outperforming natural languages for literary use; I still can't do this in Indonesian or Afrikaans, although to be fair I have hardly been studying Afrikaans at all and have done much more study on Occidental than on Indonesian. Nevertheless, I am at last starting to see some return on investment for studying constructed languages.
I really hope what we are doing here helps other writers too...
@cafaristeir: Oh, by the way, the name Lieutenant Robert is just a pure coincidence. Nothing to do with my pseudonym. :-)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations for the 1500-words hurdle. At the end of the month, I think you'll qualify as a "fluent" writer of Occidental.
ReplyDeleteA gerund is a kind of "verbal adverb", like French "en lisant" or English "by reading". I had planned, long ago, to write a little article about this, suggesting the ending "-ndo" that appears in many Romance languages. Obviously, most modern grammars of Occidental have missed this point.
Sambahsa simply uses the adverb ending "-ye" after present participles.